13 Subtle But Real Signs Your Best Friend Is Toxic
13 Subtle But Real Signs Your Best Friend Is Toxic
Friendships can significantly impact our lives, offering support and joy in our best and worst times. And that’s especially true with a best friend.
However, not all friendships are healthy, and recognizing a toxic friend can be tricky, especially when the signs are subtle. A toxic best friend can definitely drain your energy, lower your self-esteem, and negatively influence your happiness. It can even impact your future relationships.
In this guide, we cover 13 Subtle But Real Signs Your Best Friend Is Toxic to help you identify these red flags and consider how to address them. Understanding these signs can empower you to cultivate healthier relationships.
1. They Talk Badly of Others in Front of You
If your friend constantly speaks ill of others in your presence, it’s a red flag that they might do the same about you when you’re not around. This behavior indicates a lack of trustworthiness and respect for people’s privacy and feelings. It’s a toxic trait that can create a negative environment and may eventually target you.
2. They Don’t Take Responsibility for Anything
A friend who never takes responsibility for their actions and always blames others for their mistakes can be draining. This refusal to acknowledge fault shows a lack of maturity and can lead to unresolved conflicts and a one-sided relationship where you may often find yourself bearing the brunt of their actions. This can also materialize through the “this is who I am and I won’t ever change” discourse.
3. They Always Have Something Better to Do and Say You Can’t Understand
When a friend constantly makes excuses for not spending time with you or claims you wouldn’t understand their other commitments, it can feel dismissive and hurtful. This behavior suggests they don’t value your time or your relationship as much as their other interests, leading to feelings of inadequacy and neglect.
4. You Feel Drained After Hanging Out with Them
Feeling exhausted rather than uplifted after spending time with a friend is a strong indication of a toxic relationship. A healthy friendship should leave you feeling happy and energized, not drained. This energy depletion often results from dealing with negativity, drama, or emotional demands.
5. They Put You Down
If your friend often criticizes you, makes negative comments about your achievements, or belittles your feelings, it’s a sign of a toxic friendship. Such behavior can undermine your self-esteem and contribute to a negative self-image. Friends should build each other up, not tear each other down.
6. They Don’t Try to Understand You
A toxic friend may show little interest in understanding your thoughts, feelings, or experiences. This lack of empathy and understanding can make you feel isolated and unsupported, which is the opposite of what a friendship should provide.
7. They Are Only Around When Things Go Well but Shut You Down When Things Go Wrong
A friend who is present only during your successes and disappears during your struggles is not a true friend. This fair-weather behavior indicates they are interested in being associated with your positives but unwilling to support you through challenges.
8. They Compete with You
Healthy competition is one thing, but if a friend constantly tries to outdo your achievements or diminishes your successes to elevate themselves, it’s a sign of toxicity. This competitive nature stems from insecurity and can create a hostile and unsupportive relationship dynamic.
9. They Never Apologise
An inability to apologize, even when clearly in the wrong, signifies a lack of humility and accountability. A toxic friend may refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, preventing growth and resolution in your relationship.
10. They Cancel on You
Frequently canceling plans at the last minute without a genuine reason shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings. This behavior can leave you feeling unimportant and undervalued in the friendship.
11. They Say They Want to See You but Make No Effort to Do So
When a friend repeatedly expresses a desire to meet up but never initiates plans or makes an effort to actually see you, it can be disheartening. This inconsistency between words and actions indicates a lack of genuine interest in maintaining the friendship.
12. They Are Deeply Insecure
Insecurity itself isn’t toxic, but when a friend projects their insecurities onto you through criticism, jealousy, or control, it can become harmful. Their internal struggles should not be a reason for you to endure negative treatment.
13. They Try Changing You
A toxic friend might try to change who you are to fit their needs or ideals rather than accepting you as you are. This can manifest as pressure to act differently, belittling your interests, or criticizing your choices, which is not conducive to a healthy, supportive friendship.
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We are Mary and Eric, the founders of Be Right Back, a blog dedicated to romance around the globe and at home.
We are Mary and Eric, the founders of Be Right Back, a blog dedicated to romance around the globe and at home. With over 10 years of experience in dating and traveling to romantic places, we share our favorite date ideas and romantic destinations to help couples level up their relationships. Having lived in and traveled through the USA, we also share our favourite things to do in the States.
With 70,000 monthly readers and 16,000 followers on social media, Be Right Back is your go-to resource for romantic trip ideas and couple activities at home and abroad.