The 42 Relationship Standards List Everyone Needs

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These relationship standards are essentially what we believe should be the baseline for any partnership. Sure, some might argue our standards are high, but shouldn’t yours be, too? Too often, people settle because they doubt they deserve better, leading to resentment and the feeling of being trapped in a joyless relationship. Don’t fall into that trap. Embracing high standards isn’t a flaw. There are plenty of people out there ready to meet you at that level, eager for a genuine connection. Why settle for less?

Keep in mind, this isn’t a checklist for the perfect partner. No one person embodies every single trait perfectly all the time. Life’s different challenges demand different qualities at different moments. Consider these standards a source of inspiration to create a list tailored to your unique experiences, feelings, desires, and needs.

Also, it’s important to recognize that some qualities carry more weight than others. For instance, respect is non-negotiable, while the ability to apologize, though important, is something a person can learn over time. If your otherwise ideal partner struggles with saying sorry, that’s a hurdle you can overcome together. However, a lack of respect is a fundamental issue that’s far more challenging to address.

In that context, here are our 42 high standards for relationships.

1. Disinterested Kindness

Disinterested kindness is a hallmark of a true partner; it’s about being kind because it’s part of who they are, not because they expect anything in return. This form of kindness ensures that the love and care you receive are genuine and not contingent on what you can provide.

2. Genuine Interest in Your Life

A partner with a genuine interest in your life goes beyond superficial engagement. They ask questions, actively listen, and remember details from your conversations. This attentiveness shows they value you and are invested in your happiness and well-being.

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3. Is Faithful

Faithfulness is non-negotiable in a strong relationship. It means your partner is committed to you exclusively, avoiding situations that could lead to infidelity. This includes not dating others, messaging, or following people who could compromise the trust between you.

4. Is Loyal

Loyalty in a partner means they are by your side through both the good times and the bad. This steadfast support is crucial for a durable relationship, offering a sense of security and trust that strengthens your bond. Their are different ways to gauge if your (future) partner is loyal. One of them is asking them certain questions which are indirect. They will indirectly let you know if you can count on them or not.

5. Is Respectful

Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. A respectful partner values you, your time, your appearance, and your achievements. They understand the importance of acknowledging and appreciating your unique life experiences and the path you’ve walked.

6. Is Willing to Learn with You

Life is a journey of continuous learning, especially as you navigate adulthood. Having a partner willing to learn alongside you, particularly in areas like finance or other critical life skills, is invaluable. They should be open to sharing knowledge and decisions, ensuring you both grow together.

7. Doesn’t Leave You Hanging

Communication and planning are key components of a considerate relationship. A partner who makes concrete plans and responds to communication in a timely manner shows they value your time and presence in their life, reinforcing the importance of your connection.

8. Actions Follow Their Words

Having a partner whose actions align with their words is fundamental. It’s not enough for someone to merely promise; they must also deliver on those promises. A reliable partner ensures that their deeds match their speech, demonstrating their dependability and respect for you. Ensure that their actions consistently follow their words, as this is a sign of a trustworthy companion.

9. Doesn’t Bail on You

A committed partner understands the importance of communication, especially when plans change. While last-minute emergencies are understandable, habitually bailing without notice or a heads-up is a red flag. It indicates a lack of seriousness and respect for your time and expectations. Look for someone who values your plans together and communicates openly about any changes.

10. Can Communicate His Feelings

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. A partner who can articulate their feelings prevents misunderstandings and builds a stronger bond. If someone struggles to express their emotions, it can lead to complications down the line. Seek a partner who is open about their feelings for you but also about other topics and willing to work on communication skills together.

11. Financial Stability

In today’s challenging economic landscape, financial stability involves more than just having funds—it’s about the willingness to achieve and maintain it. A partner who does not solely depend on you, avoids constant borrowing, and actively seeks employment opportunities demonstrates a commitment to financial responsibility. It’s crucial to have a partner who takes job prospects seriously and is open to expanding their skills to ensure a stable future together.

12. Loves Their Family

Having a good relationship with one’s family is often seen as a positive sign, as it suggests a capacity for understanding, patience, and love. Most people have some level of connection with their family, indicating an ability to maintain important personal relationships. While no family is perfect, and there are valid reasons for strained relationships, someone who values and loves their family can bring those strengths into a romantic relationship. However, it’s also important to recognize that individuals from troubled families can still be wonderful partners.

13. Has Healthy Friends

The company one keeps can be a reflection of their own character and values. It’s said that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. Therefore, if your partner’s friends demonstrate healthy, positive behaviors, it’s likely your partner does as well. This standard emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with individuals who contribute positively to one’s life and suggests that a partner’s social circle can influence the dynamics of your relationship.

14. Respects Their Parents

While acknowledging that no parent is perfect, showing respect towards one’s parents is a sign of maturity and understanding. It’s essential to recognize the efforts and sacrifices parents make, even if they fall short at times. A partner who can reflect on their parents’ experiences with empathy and grace, without excusing any harmful behavior, likely carries these compassionate perspectives into their own relationships.

15. Isn’t Controlling

A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and freedom. A partner who doesn’t insist on knowing your whereabouts at all times, respects your privacy, and supports your relationships with family and friends shows a secure and confident approach to love. This standard warns against controlling behaviors that can lead to isolation and highlights the importance of maintaining individuality and independence within a relationship.

16. Really Wants to Know You

A genuine desire to understand you, including your interests, thoughts, and experiences, is crucial in a partner. This can manifest in various ways, from showing interest in your hobbies to engaging in deep conversations about your past and aspirations. This standard underlines the importance of emotional intimacy and the effort to build a deep, meaningful connection.

17. Knows That People Change

Recognizing and accepting that people evolve over time is vital for a lasting relationship. A partner who understands that change is a natural part of life and supports your growth, rather than wishing you to remain the same, is prepared for a realistic and adaptable partnership. This standard speaks to the necessity of embracing change together and supporting each other through life’s transitions.

18. Understands Love Languages

Recognizing and understanding each other’s love languages is essential in a relationship. It’s not about sharing the same love languages but about comprehending your partner’s needs and how they express love. This understanding allows both partners to show affection in ways that are meaningful and fulfilling, enhancing the emotional connection between them.

19. Is Funny and Has Sense of Humor

A sense of humor adds a vital spark to a relationship. Being able to laugh together, especially in tough times, strengthens the bond between partners. A partner who can find humor in life’s ups and downs, and doesn’t take every situation too seriously, contributes to a joyful and resilient relationship.

20. Is Mature

Maturity in a relationship means being self-sufficient and responsible. A mature partner can manage household tasks, plan appointments, and take care of groceries without constant guidance. This independence and capability in handling everyday life tasks are crucial for a balanced and harmonious partnership.

21. Knows to Apologise

The ability to admit when one is wrong and to offer a sincere apology is fundamental to a healthy relationship. A partner who can acknowledge their mistakes without resorting to yelling or gaslighting demonstrates emotional intelligence and respect for the relationship. This openness and accountability foster trust and understanding.

22. Charming and Seductive

Charm and seduction play significant roles in keeping the spark alive in a relationship. Whether through attitude, physicality, or both, a partner who knows how to maintain attraction and interest adds excitement and depth to the partnership. This allure is about more than just physical attraction; it’s about continuously captivating each other.

23. Knows What They Want in Life

Having a clear sense of direction or goals in life is important for both individuals in a relationship. Your partner doesn’t need to have all the answers, but they should have a general idea of what they want, whether it’s a quiet life, a life filled with travel, career ambitions, or the importance of friendships. This clarity helps ensure that both partners’ life paths and aspirations are compatible, paving the way for a shared future built on mutual understanding and goals.

24. Has Clear Values

Shared values are the cornerstone of a strong relationship. It’s crucial to know that your partner shares your core beliefs and will stand by you through life’s challenges. Values such as kindness, altruism, safety in intimacy, and tolerance are fundamental. Being aligned on these principles ensures you and your partner can navigate life’s journey together, anchored by mutual respect and understanding.

25. Isn’t Racist/Homophobic

In today’s world, tolerance and acceptance are non-negotiable traits in a partner. Being with someone who respects all individuals, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, reflects a level of empathy and understanding that is essential for a healthy, progressive relationship. This standard is straightforward but profoundly important for fostering a loving and inclusive partnership.

26. Is Proud to Call You Theirs

A partner who is proud of you is one who openly celebrates your relationship and achievements. They don’t hide you away but instead, introduce you to family and friends, are happy to be seen with you in public, and speak highly of you and your accomplishments. This open acknowledgment and pride in your partnership are crucial for building a secure and confident relationship.

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27. Is Comfortable with You Making More Money

Financial dynamics in a relationship can be complex, but a partner who is secure and supportive of your success, even if it means you earn more, is invaluable. This comfort indicates confidence and a progressive mindset, focusing on the partnership’s overall success rather than outdated notions of financial superiority.

28. Is Comfortable with You Having a Higher Degree

Education and ambition are personal journeys, and a partner who supports your achievements, including higher educational degrees, without feeling threatened, demonstrates maturity and confidence. This standard underscores the importance of mutual respect and encouragement in personal growth and achievements within the relationship.

29. Doesn’t Back Down As Soon As Things Get Tough

Reliability and resilience in a partner are key during challenging times. Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and a partner who stands firm and faces difficulties head-on, rather than avoiding them, proves their commitment and strength in the relationship. This steadfastness ensures you both can tackle life’s hardships together.

30. Has Common Sense

Common sense is an invaluable trait in navigating daily life and relationship dynamics. A partner with good judgment and practical intelligence can make life easier and more harmonious, contributing to a stable and sensible partnership where decisions are made thoughtfully and effectively.

31. Aligns with Your Cleanliness

Compatibility in living habits, such as cleanliness and organization, plays a significant role in cohabitation harmony. Whether you’re neat or a bit messy, having a partner who matches or complements your lifestyle preferences can minimize conflicts and promote a peaceful, accepting living environment. This alignment allows both partners to feel comfortable and accepted in their shared space.

32. Doesn’t Have Any Addiction/Doesn’t Drink Every Day

A partner without addictions, whether it’s to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, provides a more stable and secure relationship environment. Addictions can strain a relationship emotionally and financially, making it challenging to build a healthy and sustainable future together. It’s crucial for a partner to manage their consumption and behaviors responsibly.

33. Thinks It’s Normal to Share Household Chores

Sharing household responsibilities is a fundamental aspect of a modern, equitable partnership. It’s essential to have a partner who understands that chores are not the sole responsibility of one person. A relationship thrives when both partners contribute to the household, recognizing that the distribution of tasks may vary depending on each other’s schedules and capacities.

34. Has Similar View on Wanting and Raising Children

Agreement on whether to have children and how to raise them is crucial for long-term compatibility. This alignment ensures that both partners have shared goals and values regarding family life, which is foundational for navigating the challenges and joys of parenting together.

35. Thinks and Prepares Your Birthday

A partner who remembers and celebrates your birthday with thoughtfulness shows that they value and cherish you. It’s about the effort and intention behind the celebration, indicating they appreciate your presence in their life and wish to make you feel special.

36. Is Thoughtful

Thoughtfulness in a partner manifests in various ways, from surprising you with small gifts to caring for you when you’re sick or stressed. These actions demonstrate a deep understanding and consideration for your well-being, reinforcing the emotional connection and support in the relationship.

37. Isn’t Always on Their Phone

A partner who prioritizes quality time over screen time values the present moment with you. This ability to disconnect from digital distractions and engage fully in shared experiences enriches the relationship, fostering a deeper connection and appreciation for one another.

38. Isn’t Always Tuned into Work

While work is a significant part of life, a partner who can balance their professional and personal life shows that they value their relationship. Understanding when to disconnect from work commitments is crucial for maintaining a healthy partnership where both individuals feel seen, valued, and prioritized.

39. Is Comfortable in Their Own Skin

A partner who is comfortable with themselves, embracing their imperfections and radiating self-confidence, is essential. Everyone has insecurities, but accepting oneself and having confidence is attractive and creates a positive foundation for a relationship. This self-acceptance encourages a healthy dynamic where both partners feel secure and valued for who they are.

40. Isn’t Obsessive and Is Balanced

Balance in life is crucial, and a partner who maintains a healthy perspective on habits, whether it’s exercise, diet, or social interactions, reflects emotional stability. Obsessive behaviors can indicate underlying issues and create a strained relationship environment. A balanced partner brings harmony and stability, focusing on a well-rounded and healthy lifestyle.

41. Is Open to Critic

Constructive criticism is part of growth in any relationship. A partner who can listen to feedback without escalating the situation shows maturity and a willingness to improve. This openness is vital for personal development and strengthening the relationship, as it fosters communication and mutual respect.

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42. Doesn’t Have Red Flags

Recognizing and avoiding red flags—behaviors that could indicate deeper problems—is essential for a healthy relationship. A partner without glaring issues or behaviors that cause concern ensures a safer, more stable foundation for the relationship. This standard is about ensuring your partner contributes positively to your well-being and the relationship’s overall health.

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