Why You Suck At Dating And What To Do Instead: 10 Reasons
Why You Suck At Dating And What To Do Instead: 10 Reasons
Dating can feel like navigating a complicated maze, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, we end up feeling like we’re just not good at it. The truth is, many of us make simple mistakes without even realizing it, which can push potential matches away or lead to dead-end connections. But don’t worry, identifying these pitfalls is the first step towards improvement. In this guide, we’ll explore 10 common reasons you might be struggling with dating and offer practical advice on what to do instead. Let’s turn those dating woes into dating wins!
1. You Don’t Take Initiative
If you’re always waiting for the other person to make plans, you might come off as disinterested. Taking initiative shows you’re excited to spend time together.
What to do instead: Instead of being passive, propose two or three date ideas and ask which one they’d prefer. This small effort can significantly impact how your interest perceives you and your enthusiasm for the relationship.
2. You Think Everyone Is The One
Getting overly excited about someone before really getting to know them can overwhelm both you and them. It’s easy to get carried away, but patience is key.
What to do instead: Instead of rushing, take your time to genuinely learn about the other person and evaluate how you feel about them. This approach allows for a more natural and less pressured connection to develop.
3. You’re Only Choosing People Off Their Photos
Judging potential dates solely on their photos is a common pitfall. Photos can be deceiving and don’t reveal anything about the person’s personality. You might be surprised by how attractive someone can be in person because of their behavior and presence.
What to do instead: Instead, try to be more open-minded about appearances and focus more on personality, which could lead to more fulfilling connections.
4. You’re Too Direct
While honesty is vital, being overly direct at the beginning of a relationship can be off-putting. Early stages often thrive on a bit of mystery and flirtation.
What to do instead: Instead of laying everything out too soon, try to incorporate more flirtatious and playful elements into your interactions. This approach can help keep the excitement alive and avoid overwhelming your date.
5. The Dates You Offer Are Boring or Scary
Sticking to cliché or intimidating date ideas like “Netflix and chill” can make the dating experience dull or uncomfortable.
What to do instead: Instead, think outside the box: a picnic by the lake, a bingo walk, geocaching, or restaurant hopping can make for memorable and enjoyable dates. Creative ideas show effort and thoughtfulness, making your date feel special.
6. You Don’t Love Yourself Enough
Self-confidence is incredibly attractive. If you’re lacking in self-love, you might come across as desperate or clingy, seeking validation from your dates.
What to do instead: Instead, focus on building your self-esteem and happiness independently. Loving yourself makes you more attractive and improves your chances of forming a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
7. You Take Too Much Time Reaching Out
Playing it cool by waiting days to reach out after a date is outdated. If you enjoyed the date, let them know!
What to do instead: Prompt feedback can keep the momentum going and show your interest. This straightforward approach can help develop a connection and eliminate unnecessary games.
8. You’re Looking for The Spark Right Away
Expecting immediate chemistry or a “spark” can lead to missed opportunities. Not all connections are instant, and some of the best relationships grow over time.
What to do instead: Instead of dismissing potential matches too quickly, give them a chance. Patience can lead to a deeper, more meaningful connection than you might have expected.
9. You Stick to The Same Kind of Person
Repeating patterns by dating the same type of person can lead to the same kinds of relationship issues. Broadening your horizons and considering people outside your usual type can open up new possibilities.
What to do instead: Exploring different personalities can help you find a more compatible partner and avoid past mistakes.
10. You Chase the Wrong People
Persisting in pursuing someone who shows little interest, doesn’t reply to texts, or never makes plans can be disheartening. Recognizing when someone isn’t interested and moving on is crucial.
What to do instead: Instead, focus your attention on people who reciprocate your interest and effort. This shift can lead to more rewarding and mutual connections.
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We are Mary and Eric, the founders of Be Right Back, a blog dedicated to romance around the globe and at home.
We are Mary and Eric, the founders of Be Right Back, a blog dedicated to romance around the globe and at home. With over 10 years of experience in dating and traveling to romantic places, we share our favorite date ideas and romantic destinations to help couples level up their relationships. Having lived in and traveled through the USA, we also share our favourite things to do in the States.
With 70,000 monthly readers and 16,000 followers on social media, Be Right Back is your go-to resource for romantic trip ideas and couple activities at home and abroad.