Clueless Husbands Will Love These 6 Tricks To Keep The Romance Alive

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You love her so much but she says she can’t tell? We’ve got you covered! In a world where women are often pictured as too demanding and men pictured as not wanting to make an effort, the cause for romance evaporating is more often than not a lack of communication.

Or, if we may, a difference in how we communicate. See, you may feel like you’re doing a lot for your wife or girlfriend but what if the things you are doing are simply not the things that she feels loved by? More often than not, romance evaporating from a relationship stems from speaking a different language rather than not speaking at all. 

But fear not, we’re here to help you keep the romance going and make her feel all the love in the way she needs and understands. This blog post provides practical advice for keeping the romance alive by showing love through thoughtful gestures, communication, and responsiveness to your partner’s emotional needs

Here are 6 tricks to keep the romance going and make her feel loved.

1. Surprise her

Every time I mention this to husbands, I can read fear on their faces, just as if I had asked them to take her to the moon. Listen, when we, women, say we would like to be surprised, we’re not actually thinking of crazy things. 

We’re not thinking about dinner on top of the Eiffel Tower or about a helicopter ride over New York City. Would these extremely romantic ideas be great? Of course! But it’s not what we mean!

So what do we mean? Well, consider anything that we haven’t planned ourselves a surprise, such as:

• If she didn’t ask you to bring her favourite drink home after work and you still do it, then that counts as a surprise. 
• If she didn’t ask you to plan a couple hours together but you take her on a picnic, then that counts as a surprise. 
• If you never take photos of her and suggest going outside to take some cute fall pictures, then that counts as a surprise. 
• If you come home with flowers she didn’t have to ask for, that’s a surprise.

Honestly, even bringing her some cookies from work counts!

See, what all of these ideas have in common, besides the fact that they are really cheap and therefore shouldn’t cause any budget issue, is that they came from you. You didn’t need to be told. 

When men do something for us that we didn’t tell them too, it means the world to us, even when it’s a super simple surprise. Why? Because it means you actually thought about us. You thought about what we like to eat, what kind of flowers we like, but moreover, you wanted to make us happy. 

The intention weighs way more than the content of the surprise does. You meant to make us smile. That’s what matters.  

2. Do little acts of love

Little acts of love are really easy to implement and cost nothing but mean everything. When we talk about romance, most people think about grandiose gesture, a trip to the tropics or pricy jewellery.

Again, that’s not what most women expect. I (Marie) actually know plenty of women who could not care less for any men’s money. That said, here are little acts of love that would sweep them of their feet at any moment:

• Late night texts she can read in the morning: when you know she is already asleep, send her a text saying how much you’re thinking about her and how you wish her the best day tomorrow. This will make her day!
• Forehead kisses: throughout the day, don’t forget to give her little kisses on the forehead to remind her how much you care about her.
• Small notes: There are several ways you can go about this one. You can write little notes to her and leave them around in your home. You can also place them in her purse or meal bag so she can find them once she’s at work. You can also hide your notes on her clothes’ hangers so she can find them when getting dressed
• Offer to do things for her: If she’s sick, offer to get her medicine. If she’s tired, offer to make her a tea. If she’s cold, offer to bring her a blanky. These are small attentions that make all the difference.

3. Make movie moves

Look, we get it, movies aren’t real. But maybe we could get inspired by them? There are romantic moves that are statements in most romantic movies that are really easy to replicate at home. And that, my friend, will definitely bring some romance back into your life.

Here are our favourite moves:

• The Kitchen Move: whether your girl is baking cookies or making dinner, take two minutes of your time to come over her, hold her and kiss her in the neck. 
• The Library Move: this one is a classic! When you see your girl standing in the doorway, get closer to her and bring your arm above her while leaning against the wall. With your other arm, gently grab her head and kiss her. You can’t lose there!
• The Eye Lock Move: You know that scene where the main characters can’t look away from each other? That is intense romance! When your girl is looking at you, make sure to lock in her eyes and send signals that you are definitely looking at her. It will make her feel like you see her. Don’t look away!

4. Try something new

“But I take her to eat out all the time!” Man, come on! Obviously, going out for dinner is nice and your girl is probably happy to spend time with you. But having you plan the same exact date every time means you’re simply complacent. 

It means you’re not willing to throw in a little bit of effort to switch things up. What she is thinking is that for the next 60 years, you’re going to take her out every Tuesday to your local restaurant and that’s it. That’s the most peak your romance is going to be. That makes 60 years seem quite long all of a sudden, even for you!

Instead, offer to try something new together. In all honesty, it’s great if you can come up with some new date ideas, but offering to try something new together (without any specific idea) is already granting you points!

Here are some new date ideas you could suggest:

• Alphabet dating: We’ve got date ideas from A to Z so you don’t even have to think about what to do, we’re already serving you the ideas on a platter. All you have to do is suggest going ABC dating to your partner!
• Switch your date time: Do you always go out at night? Then switch things up and go on a date in the morning instead. 
• Try seasonal date ideas: We’ve got date ideas for every week of the year so you never run out for every season. That will allow you to switch things up and show your partner how much you care. 

5. Drop the “I love you”

This might feel counter intuitive but drop the “I love you”s. When you’re in a long term relationship, saying ‘I love you’ becomes an automatic mechanism. You say it when you wake up, when you leave for work, when you come back from work, when you go to bed, when you hang up the phone, and juts like anything else, when you get too much of it, it doesn’t mean much anymore.

Rather than saying these three words, use words that are more specific to express your love. These can be about your partner’s personality, physical appearance or just how they make you feel. 

Here are a few examples:

• I really appreciate how kind you are
• I’m very thankful for you and how well you take care of me
• You’re the kindest person I know and I feel lucky to have you
• I don’t remember life before you
• I wonder how I managed before I met you
• I never want to know life without you
• You make me so happy
• You always make me smile
• You’re so funny
• You’re fantastic
• I can’t think of a reason why this world wouldn’t want to have you in it

These are all ways to say I love you, but better!

6. Take the bid

According to the Gottman institute, “A bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection”. 

Bids can take many shapes and forms. They can be a story your partner is telling you, a smile, a look, showing you something, etc.

I recently saw, under a TikTok video, hundreds of comments from wives explaining how their husbands never took the bid, leaving them feeling dismissed, uninteresting, and unimportant. See the testimonies below:

Some even mentions how sad it made them feel that they were willing to listen to their husbands’ stories even when it wasn’t interesting to them, yet they weren’t willing to do the same, as a simple act of love. 

To put it in simpler words, a bid is simply a call for interaction. If you don’t answer the bid, it is sending the signal that you’re not interested enough to interact leaving your partner feeling dismissed or unimportant, and mostly, sad, sometimes even rejected.

To avoid leaving your partner feeling awful, take the bid. Taking the bid is pretty simple (hence why it makes so many wives angry!). You simply have to acknowledge your partner, which can be as simple as a few words. 

Final thoughts

In relationships, grand gestures may dazzle, but it’s the consistent, small acts of love that truly nourish the bond. Whether it’s a thoughtful surprise, a tender movie-inspired moment, or simply acknowledging a partner’s emotional bids, these gestures underscore a deeper understanding and attentiveness. 

While saying “I love you” is crucial, showing it through varied, meaningful actions is what truly sustains romance. Love is not just about the monumental moments but lies in the everyday acts that tell our partners, “I see you, I value you, and I cherish every moment with you.” Embrace these actions, and keep the romantic flame ever-burning.